Kickin' the panic attack up a notch
Nov. 6th, 2003 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grammargirlSo not only is my thesis draft not done, but I've lost two library books and a book my thesis advisor loaned me, all of which were integral to the completion of said draft.
I had them at the Fishbowl with me, in a separate bag because they were heavy and I didn't want to cram them all into my backpack (note to self: fuck your back. You know that when you carry things separately you lose them. How many umbrellas have you gone through in the past couple years?). I stayed at the Fishbowl til about 3:30 in the morning, then went home and collapsed in bed. I woke up today, looked around for one of the books so I could flip through it to prepare for writing the next section, and realized that the bag was nowhere to be found. I walked to the Fishbowl, thinking the janitor had probably found it and turned it in at the lost and found. No go. Called DPS to see if it was in their lost and found. Nope. Checked the library directory to see if anyone had returned the books. Nope.
Luckily I managed to track down Josh Miller, the bestest thesis writing seminar prof ever, who is highly skilled at getting me to calm down--he told me that the deadline was flexible, to aim for Monday, to hope the books turn up and in the meantime work on a section that doesn't involve them. All of which was very good advice, and it calmed me down a lot... but the books still haven't shown up yet, and one of them belongs to my thesis advisor, and I don't know why anyone would want to steal a bunch of library books but it worries me a lot that they haven't turned up yet. Plus, if someone returns them to the library I'll have to track down my thesis advisor's book separately, which is another headache entirely.
This whole thing makes me want to curl up in a corner and whimper. I do not deal with this kind of stress well.
On the up side, I talked to the professor of my Enlightenment class, who was pretty excited about my idea to write one of my papers on Blake and Wordsworth's Romantic ideals of childhood as applies to Peter Pan, which assuming I can find the frigging books I need will tie in quite nicely to my thesis. I've decided that the best way to deal with writing 80 pages by December 11 is to set up as much overlap as humanly possible--I wonder if there's a way for me to tie in Criminology and Children's Lit...
P.S. I know that in comparison with losing loved ones and urban poverty and unemployment and the starving children in Somalia, my missing library books don't exactly rate real high on the trauma scale. I know my sense of perspective is a wee bit skewed at the moment. I know that a few months from now I will be consumed with other petty problems and this will have faded totally into the background. I know all this, and yet right now this seems like the biggest problem ever, and as this is my journal I will write about it as such if I damn well please, and if you don't like it you can just bite me. Or replace the missing library books. Okay? Okay.
I had them at the Fishbowl with me, in a separate bag because they were heavy and I didn't want to cram them all into my backpack (note to self: fuck your back. You know that when you carry things separately you lose them. How many umbrellas have you gone through in the past couple years?). I stayed at the Fishbowl til about 3:30 in the morning, then went home and collapsed in bed. I woke up today, looked around for one of the books so I could flip through it to prepare for writing the next section, and realized that the bag was nowhere to be found. I walked to the Fishbowl, thinking the janitor had probably found it and turned it in at the lost and found. No go. Called DPS to see if it was in their lost and found. Nope. Checked the library directory to see if anyone had returned the books. Nope.
Luckily I managed to track down Josh Miller, the bestest thesis writing seminar prof ever, who is highly skilled at getting me to calm down--he told me that the deadline was flexible, to aim for Monday, to hope the books turn up and in the meantime work on a section that doesn't involve them. All of which was very good advice, and it calmed me down a lot... but the books still haven't shown up yet, and one of them belongs to my thesis advisor, and I don't know why anyone would want to steal a bunch of library books but it worries me a lot that they haven't turned up yet. Plus, if someone returns them to the library I'll have to track down my thesis advisor's book separately, which is another headache entirely.
This whole thing makes me want to curl up in a corner and whimper. I do not deal with this kind of stress well.
On the up side, I talked to the professor of my Enlightenment class, who was pretty excited about my idea to write one of my papers on Blake and Wordsworth's Romantic ideals of childhood as applies to Peter Pan, which assuming I can find the frigging books I need will tie in quite nicely to my thesis. I've decided that the best way to deal with writing 80 pages by December 11 is to set up as much overlap as humanly possible--I wonder if there's a way for me to tie in Criminology and Children's Lit...
P.S. I know that in comparison with losing loved ones and urban poverty and unemployment and the starving children in Somalia, my missing library books don't exactly rate real high on the trauma scale. I know my sense of perspective is a wee bit skewed at the moment. I know that a few months from now I will be consumed with other petty problems and this will have faded totally into the background. I know all this, and yet right now this seems like the biggest problem ever, and as this is my journal I will write about it as such if I damn well please, and if you don't like it you can just bite me. Or replace the missing library books. Okay? Okay.
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no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 04:30 pm (UTC)But, that being said, don't let it consume you.
Remember to breathe.
You will get through this; just keep hacking away at it.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-06 08:50 pm (UTC)Thanks.
The trick, after all, is to keep breathing. Garbage said it, so it must be true.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-07 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-07 01:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-08 04:14 am (UTC)there's very little else you can do about the books right now. Your thesis advisor is right, and, the more you write and have written, the calmer you will be.
And, the petty problems of our world are as startling real and all consuming as anyone's problems. Remember the biblical tale of the town where people plucked other people's problems from the tree? Granted it's an inverse of your andendum statement, but the spirit holds true. You are not in urban poverty or starving in Somalia. You are in Ann Arbor and trying to do a very difficult and noble thing and furthering your education. Be aware that you are lucky that the worst of your problems could be considered luxeries, but accept them and deal with them with respect.
It'll be ok, and your thesis will be brilliant. what are you going to do for your birthday?