Don't fuck with us.

[grammargirl]

Aubs and I finally got around writing the e-mail to our landlord detailing the damages from the flood and demanding a free month of rent in compensation. I'm so proud of it that I think I'll post it here for posterity:

Hi, Curtis --

Here is the list of damaged and/or ruined items that you requested:

-- 42 pages of thesis drafts with handwritten instructors? comments

-- 2 handbound poetry anthologies

-- 7 books, including one library book that will be extremely costly to replace

-- 9 journals, one of which was handmade, all of which were written in by hand and are irreplaceable

-- Many articles of clothing soiled and/or stained; costs included money for laundering and stain-removal products

-- Course materials including a coursepack and several class handouts

-- Aubrey is allergic to mold and had to stay with her parents until the carpets were cleaned

-- Melanie missed a full shift of work in order to move things out of the path of destruction and salvage things that had already been damaged

-- Significant amounts of time that otherwise would have been spent writing our theses.

Aside from the few items that had price tags on them, it would be impossible to calculate the value of all that was lost. Had they been wrecked, electronic items could have been replaced, but meticulously dissected thesis drafts and years' worth of handwritten journals cannot. Consequently, we request compensation in the form of one free month's rent, as well as your assurance of ample accommodation should the house ultimately require extensive structural repair.

We appreciate your consideration in this matter and hope to speak with you soon.


Melanie _____
Aubrey ______


We also CC'd it to my mom's work e-mail address, which has the word "law" prominently featured.

We are so badass, the poor guy's gonna be scared out of his mind.This is what happens when my journals get wrecked, punk.

What can I say, I'll take my accomplishments where I can get 'em.