Happy frickin' Halloween.
Oct. 31st, 2003 10:46 pm"There are no happy endings," Cerin told her. "There are no real endings ever--happy or otherwise. We all have our own stories which are just a part of the one Story that binds both this world and Faerie. Sometimes we step into each other's stories--perhaps just for a few minutes, perhaps for years--and then we step out of them. But all the while, the story just goes on." --Charles de Lint
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I dunno why, but for the past few years Halloween has ben really depressing for me. Last year I had a mini-breakdown on the night I was supposed to go see Shoshana in Rocky Horror. Today was actually pretty nice for the most part--babysat my thesis advisor's daughter in the morning, then hung out with Emily and Haley for most of the day (incidentally, this was the first time I'd seen her since close to the beginning of the semester, and our least awkward interaction in a couple years), then got dropped off at my place, saying I'd give them a call once I got my costume on so we could hit the random co-op party scene. And then I cleaned up my disaster of a room a little, bid on (and lost) an iPod auction on eBay, read a little Dreams Underfoot... and then the old familiar weight settled over my shoulders and that little voice started whispering, "You hate big noisy parties, you'll feel uncomfortable getting ogled in your costume (slutty Catholic schoolgirl...), you always feel awkward with Emily in big groups of her friends, blah blah blah..." and it keeps getting later and I just sit here reading silly escapist fiction and reloading my friends page every five minutes, unable to understand why I keep doing this to myself.
I should be an emo kid. I do that angst thing so friggin' well.
...
I dunno why, but for the past few years Halloween has ben really depressing for me. Last year I had a mini-breakdown on the night I was supposed to go see Shoshana in Rocky Horror. Today was actually pretty nice for the most part--babysat my thesis advisor's daughter in the morning, then hung out with Emily and Haley for most of the day (incidentally, this was the first time I'd seen her since close to the beginning of the semester, and our least awkward interaction in a couple years), then got dropped off at my place, saying I'd give them a call once I got my costume on so we could hit the random co-op party scene. And then I cleaned up my disaster of a room a little, bid on (and lost) an iPod auction on eBay, read a little Dreams Underfoot... and then the old familiar weight settled over my shoulders and that little voice started whispering, "You hate big noisy parties, you'll feel uncomfortable getting ogled in your costume (slutty Catholic schoolgirl...), you always feel awkward with Emily in big groups of her friends, blah blah blah..." and it keeps getting later and I just sit here reading silly escapist fiction and reloading my friends page every five minutes, unable to understand why I keep doing this to myself.
I should be an emo kid. I do that angst thing so friggin' well.
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Date: 2003-10-31 10:11 pm (UTC)Oh well, it's just another day of the year, eh?
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Date: 2003-10-31 10:27 pm (UTC)I want an iPod.
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Date: 2003-10-31 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-01 10:15 am (UTC)I am completely broke: twenty pounds left, and that needs to go to the BFI library so I can get a membership and research my paper and project due a week from monday . . . after that, I'm left to whatever coins I find on the street until the postal strike ends and I can get my paycheck(s). Otherwise, I'd call you.
Till then, feel good, update your journal, and send me an e-mail with your thesis once it's drafted . . . so I can marvel at your brilliance.
cheers!