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So I've decided to start titling my journal entries with the random song lyrics that get stuck in my head. Yesterday Amy and I listened to Rent while we cooked dinner, the first time I'd heard it in at least a year. I'd nearly forgotten how fantastic that show is, though I still remembered almost all the words to La Vie Boheme. :)
I've been sitting at work for the past hour or so trying to redesign my journal, but silly LJ won't let me customize enough with my free account to satisfy my analness, so I suppose I'll have to stick with the boring old format I've had since I started this thing. Alas.
Yesterday I went to one of the only house parties I've ever been to in college, and much to my surprise, I had an AWESOME time. One of my NELP friends was throwing this party with her roommate, and after I ran into another NELP buddy who reminded me that it was going on, I changed into some partay clothes I'd borrowed from Shoshana a while back and took off, dragging my friend Andrew along with me.
It was one of those parties with the perfect ratio of people I knew to people I didn't. There were enough friends there (all NELPers except for Andrew) that I always had someone safe to talk to, and enough strangers that I ended up having some cool conversations with people I'd never met before. Which incidentally is so unlike me; usually I'm the one sitting on a couch by myself, staring down at my feet and feeling intensely uncomfortable. Last night, though, I was just... on. It was suddenly easy to talk to people, in a way it's never been before in a setting like that. Mostly I just alternated between hanging out with Andrew and the NELPers, but I defintely managed to introduce myself to a bunch of people and have totally decent conversations with a couple total strangers, not to mention decorate myself with a temporary poetry tattoo that says "believe in beauty." This might sound like normal, uninteresting party behavior (well, maybe aside from the tattoo thing), but it was definitely a big leap forward for me. I ended up staying until 3:30, which I only regretted a teeeeeny bit upon waking up for work at 8:15 this morning.
I feel like something fundamental has started shifting in me. People have been looking at me differently lately. A few nights ago, the guy who works at the pizza place I go to all the time introduced himself to me. One of the regulars at the library recently asked me if I wanted to go have a beer with him and a couple other people. I'm not so... afraid anymore, and I think it's affecting the way people interact with me.
I find myself excited, not because I'm looking forward to something, but because I'm ready to find out what that something is. The new school year feels so... promising, suddenly.
I've been sitting at work for the past hour or so trying to redesign my journal, but silly LJ won't let me customize enough with my free account to satisfy my analness, so I suppose I'll have to stick with the boring old format I've had since I started this thing. Alas.
Yesterday I went to one of the only house parties I've ever been to in college, and much to my surprise, I had an AWESOME time. One of my NELP friends was throwing this party with her roommate, and after I ran into another NELP buddy who reminded me that it was going on, I changed into some partay clothes I'd borrowed from Shoshana a while back and took off, dragging my friend Andrew along with me.
It was one of those parties with the perfect ratio of people I knew to people I didn't. There were enough friends there (all NELPers except for Andrew) that I always had someone safe to talk to, and enough strangers that I ended up having some cool conversations with people I'd never met before. Which incidentally is so unlike me; usually I'm the one sitting on a couch by myself, staring down at my feet and feeling intensely uncomfortable. Last night, though, I was just... on. It was suddenly easy to talk to people, in a way it's never been before in a setting like that. Mostly I just alternated between hanging out with Andrew and the NELPers, but I defintely managed to introduce myself to a bunch of people and have totally decent conversations with a couple total strangers, not to mention decorate myself with a temporary poetry tattoo that says "believe in beauty." This might sound like normal, uninteresting party behavior (well, maybe aside from the tattoo thing), but it was definitely a big leap forward for me. I ended up staying until 3:30, which I only regretted a teeeeeny bit upon waking up for work at 8:15 this morning.
I feel like something fundamental has started shifting in me. People have been looking at me differently lately. A few nights ago, the guy who works at the pizza place I go to all the time introduced himself to me. One of the regulars at the library recently asked me if I wanted to go have a beer with him and a couple other people. I'm not so... afraid anymore, and I think it's affecting the way people interact with me.
I find myself excited, not because I'm looking forward to something, but because I'm ready to find out what that something is. The new school year feels so... promising, suddenly.
