Whatever else happens, at least it'll be over soon.

I was planning this whole long entry about how I decided, as everyone knew I would, not to give up on the damn thesis, but quite frankly I'm getting tired of writing about it. The short version is that I went to see my advisor, we talked for two hours, and I left her office with three pages of typed outline-ish notes, unable to decide whether I was terrified or relieved. Looks like I'm not quite ready to give up the ghost yet. We'll see tomorrow if I manage to successfully write anything without hyperventilating, crying, or otherwise freaking out. My hopes are middling.

Anyway, because I'm feeling unimaginative, here's the "Open all your mp3s, put them on shuffle, and list the first 20" meme for your viewing pleasure:

Ben Folds Five - Battle of Who Could Care Less
Elliott Smith - Happiness
Eddie From Ohio - The New James Bond
Cowboy Junkies - First Recollections
U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall
Foo Fighters - There Goes My Hero
Nelly Furtado - Hey, Man!
Jets to Brazil - Morning New Disease
Yoko Kanno - The Egg and I
Ani DiFranco - This Bouquet
Great Big Sea - Ordinary Day
Tom Petty - You Wreck Me
Super Furry Animals - (Drawing) Rings Around the World
James Taylor - Walking Man
Badly Drawn Boy - Above You, Below Me
Indigo Girls - Compromise
Lit - My Own Worst Enemy (how embarrassing!)
Liz Phair - Uncle Alvarez
Sigur Ros - Alfosskor Song

Man, I have stuff on my iPod ranging from a fantastic goth cover of Gangsta's Paradise to the delightfully obscure Crooked Fingers to T.S. Eliot reading "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," and My Own freaking Worst Enemy shows up? That's just sad.

And February was so long that it lasted into March

You know, despite being roundly ignored by all the boys in my life right now *cough*hint*cough* there's something about wearing matching pink satin Victoria's Secret lingerie that I know no one but myself will see that makes me feel bouncy as heck and generally at peace with the world. This may also have something to do with the fact that my hair is in pigtails and I'm wearing my too-adorable-for-words thrift store "don't bug me" shirt and the fantastic Delia's jeans that actually fit me (!) that used to live in mathforlovers's closet. All of which is really to say that if no one with a penis is going to pay any attention to me, fuck it, I am more than capable of paying attention to myself.

Still, though. Hmph and also *pout*.

After waking up this morning afternoon from dreams in which an LJ person who will remain nameless was having sex in the back of a van I was driving, I discovered that my room had mysteriously transformed into the Sauna From Hell overnight. I opened my window to cool things off a bit, thinking that I'd be hit in the face with a blast of freezing February air... and instead, my room was filled with this amazing fragrant breeze, still a little chilly, but undeniably Spring.

T.S. Eliot had it wrong. April is not the cruelest month. That honor goes to the last half of February and the first half of March. At least in Michigan, that's the time where mother nature taunts us with these wonderful, tantalizing glimpses of spring so we'll be twice as miserable when the next below-freezing temperatures or late snowfalls hit. I've lived in this state for 22 years, and I know that winter has not yet gasped its last. But oh man, spring is suddenly so close I can taste it.

!!!!

Holy shit.

I just wrote two pages in three hours. Two pages of actual, usable text, not scribbled notes or random musings.

Two pages of thesis. In three hours.

That's even including the time I spent talking to quixoticdancer on AIM--which, though highly enjoyable, was completely unproductive thesis-wise.

I probably would have been able to get close to five pages done tonight if the stupid fishbowl fuckers hadn't closed up and kicked me out at 11:30, just as I was getting on a roll. I know this doesn't seem like much to those of you who regularly churn out multiple pages an hour, and for n ordinary paper this would be pretty slow for me. But... damn, after the horrible frozen panic of the past few weeks, a paragraph of usable material would have seemed like a fantastic accomplishment. I mean, I didn't even come close to tears! Not once!

I may not be a total failure at life after all.

Holy shit.

*cabbage patch*